The surprising truth about girls’ getaways

Girls’ getaways are so important for a woman’s mental health and well-being. Unfortunately, they are often misunderstood or confused with crazy Las Vegas bachelorette parties or the sloppy drunk Girls Gone Wild chicks down in Daytona.

In this article, you will learn what a girls’ getaway is. I’ll dispel common misconceptions that give girls’ getaways a bad rap, and you’ll learn why girls’ getaways are so important.

What is a Girls’ Getaway?

There is no official definition for a girls’ getaway, so I took a stab at it. Below is my definition of a girls’ getaway:

A girls’ getaway is when two or more women spend a period of time together (2-10 days) away from their home, free of responsibilities and agendas, to a warm & sunny destination by the ocean (e.g. the Caribbean) so they can relax, recharge and nurture their friendship.

Misconceptions about Girls’ Getaways

You’re going on a girls’ trip to pick up men

Only a man would think we ladies want to get away to pick up men. Seriously.

I have a question for you, married women or those with a significant other: Do you really want another husband/boyfriend? I love my husband, but come fricken’ on! One is enough, thank you very much.

It’s logical that men would question us leaving town with our besties and leaving them at home, but don’t worry, guys, we are not picking up men. One is enough.

The family can’t live without you if you go on a girls’ trip

When I tell people I’m going on a girls’ getaway, they raise an eyebrow and often say, “And your husband lets you?”.  I get this from men and women!

a man's surprised look when he learns a woman is going in a girls' getaway
A girls’ getaway? Are you kidding me?

I’m not a women’s libber, so I don’t get enraged by this question. I actually get what they mean. After all, in a lot of cases, we women are responsible for keeping the household running smoothly and are the primary caretakers of the kids and pets. Am I right? 

Sure, a lot of guys help out around the house and with the kids, but we women are usually “the default”. All responsibilities fall on us unless we ask them to help out, in which case they will if they aren’t busy.

So when someone asks if the husband has pre-approved the girls’ getaway, they’re not being sexist; they’re being serious. Like, who’s gonna hold down the fort?

As someone with a husband, three kids, a dog, and a cat who has gone on 18 girls’ getaways for the past 22 years,  I’m here to tell you the household does survive. The kids, dog, cat, and husband are all in one piece when I get back.

Besides, the family survives just fine when the hubby goes off fishing for the weekend, right?

You girls just wanna strip down and go wild, naked on the beach

The girls that think girls’ getaways are about Girls Gone Wild or Vegas bachelorette parties are not my girls.

The girls I’m talking about are mentally past the stage of ripping off our clothes in public because we’ve gotten so wasted we don’t know what’s going on.  Just to be clear, that was never me anyway. Just saying.

The girls’ getaways I’m referring to are for women who want time away to relax, recharge, and bond with their BFFs.

Our getaways do not include naughty or shameful activities that leave us feeling hungover, depressed, and ashamed. 

Do we have cocktails? Of course, but we’re not sloppy drunk each and every night & day of the trip.

Do we have fun? Yes, but we don’t consider acting immature and stupid “fun”.

Hey, when guys go deer hunting or catfish noodling for the weekend, we’re not at home thinking they’re spending their nights down at a sleazy strip club, right?

If my wife/girlfriend goes on a girls’ getaway pretty soon, she’ll leave me

The objective of a girls’ getaway is to become relaxed, recharge, and bond with friends, not to uproot our lives.

Unless the relationship was in the shitter before the getaway, there’s no reason why the trip would cause it to end.

Let’s face it, girls, many men are insecure. They just are. Sometimes, we have to reassure them the relationship is solid and nothing will change that. In fact, time away from each other could bring you closer.

Why girls’ getaways are so important

Girls’ getaways improve mental health

I don’t need to tell you how busy, stressful, and demanding life can get, especially when others depend on you to exist (husband, kids, pets).

A steady diet of stress can cause a general lack of excitement for life. It becomes mundane, predictable, and exhausting. Or worse, it can manifest itself physically and cause depression, high blood pressure, and more.

And if you’re like me and live in a climate where much of winter consists of gray, cold dreary days, you can get especially moody.

Girls’ getaways offer a chance to break from a life of repetition and down mood. Time away from home, in the Caribbean on the beach somewhere, can dramatically lift a mood. It does for me each and every time I get away.

Just think:

freshly caught mahi mahi fish
Freshly caught Mahi Mahi
  • Your meals are prepared for you with locally grown produce and freshly caught fish.
  • When your meal is over, you get up and leave. No dishes to do.
  • There’s no house cleaning. Even the maid makes your bed!
  • You alternate between reading, napping, and chatting with your bestie on the beach.
  • The ocean waves gently roll up on the shore as the sound of seagulls calling in the distance and sand crabs frolic.
  • The sun warms your body and provides a dose of much-needed Vitamin D (After you apply sunscreen, of course!).
  • Sleep, sweet sleep. Nobody jumping on your bed or licking your face to wake you up. Go to bed and wake up when you want.
  • Within a couple of days, you are more relaxed and feeling recharged.

Nurture friendships

Girls, this is a biggie!  >>   F • R • I • E • N • D • S • H • I • P

Maintaining and growing friendships with our besties is absolutely crucial to our mental health.

According to a 2007 study by the Centre for Research on Socio-Cultural Change at the University of Manchester, female friendships are a means to express ourselves and form our identity.  We need our gal pals to be heard and validated. Something that guys aren’t always great at.

The study also said the friendship between women is much deeper and more principled than that of men. For women, friendship is more about the relationship as opposed to what they can get out of it, which is the case for guys.

So, ladies, we need each other.

When life gets busy, we often forget to get together with friends. Pretty soon, one, five, or 10 years have passed since you’ve had true quality time with your friends.

A girls’ getaway affords the chance to nurture and build deeper friendships that will carry you into your later years. 

Next Steps

  1. Think of the perfect gal pal to go on a getaway with and approach her with the idea.
  2. For your first getaway, don’t go crazy and invite 10 of your best friends. Start slow – one or two friends that you are absolutely certain will get along and easily agree on the destination, timeframe, and budget. Also, start with a shorter trip, like a girls’ weekend getaway.
  3. If you’re married, have a significant other, and/or have kids, take an incremental approach to the idea of a girls’ getaway.  You need to warm them up because, remember, they think their world will fall apart without you. And even though “we don’t need no stinkin’ man to give us permission,” it sure makes life easier. Can I get an amen? Try something like this:

Day 1 >> Ask if they’ve ever heard of a girls’ getaway. If they object by citing one or more of the misconceptions above, gently set them straight.

Day 14 >> Mention that you learned girls’ getaways are beneficial to a woman’s mental health. If he responds positively, great! If not, ignore him.

Day 21 >> Mention that you learned women who go on getaways come back relaxed, refreshed, and eager to get back into life. Again, if he responds positively, great! If not, ignore him.

Every week or so, plant a few more seeds. The idea is to warm him up over a period of time so when you’re ready to begin planning the girls’ getaway, he’s relatively warmed up and more open to the idea.

Avoid being an all-out attack dog insisting you’re going, and that’s that. If he feels like he was part of the decision, he’ll be more open to future getaways. 

Ladies, are you ready to get away?

Share this article with a friend that you’d like to get away with and gauge their thoughts on going on a girls’ getaway with you.

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